Lead Me to Temptation
by drifted-haiku
Summary: I don't know what pisses you off more Nathaniel, the fact that you can't take your eyes off of her or the fact that she still gets under your skin time after time. - Chuck
1. Preview

Just one dance…

One look…

One kiss…

One shot…

That's all you need…

To find yourself punched, drunken with love…

To find yourself begging…

"_lead me to temptation_…"

Start: May 2nd

End: In progress

**Disclaimer**: I do not own GG. If I did, the show probably wouldn't be as messed up as it is right now =P I do, however, own this story.

Therefore © by drifted-haiku.2010. Distribution of any kind is prohibited without the written consent of moi.

* * *

His musky scent travels to her nose, intoxicating her senses. She finds herself drunk for a brief moment as he stares down at her with his orbs of greenish blues, the ones that always send her knees quivering. His thumb trails under her chin, tracing the outline of her jaw, earning a sudden shuddering of her breath. He felt a pulse, light and rapid.

"Don't do this… Na—"

Before she could finish her sentence, he lowers his head and allows his lips to meet hers, ever so lightly. His arms, slowly but surely, encircles her waist, pulling her closer. She finds herself drowning within the ecstasy of his touch. Her hands couldn't push him away; instead they find themselves gripping the collar of his shirt, holding him closer. The back of her mind screams _danger_ but her willpower and her sanity are all being compromised because Nate Archibald has kissed her the way he did the first time he thought he 'saved' her.

Whatever line they have set, whatever boundary they aren't supposed to cross, they definitely left it in the dust the moment she found him standing outside the loft.

* * *

**A**uthor's **N**ote

I didn't know how to edit this page and fanfiction was being a b!tch so I had to delete the other one and redo this one. Anyway, enjoy ^^ I'll try to update by the end of this week or something =)

- dh


	2. Welcome to Wherever You Are

Chapter One - Welcome to Wherever You Are

"_Every new beginning, is some beginning's end_  
_You gotta believe_  
_That right here right now, you're exactly where you're supposed to be_..."

**Disclaimer**: I do not own GG & its characters. I do, however, own this story. Therefore the story is © by me. Distribution of any kind is prohibited without my written consent.

* * *

Jenny Humphrey glances at the used plane ticket in her hands as she stands outside Kennedy Airport and thinks to herself that maybe this time, she's ready because this isn't the first time she's bought a plane ticket. This is actually the 7th time; and since it's her lucky 7, she figures that it'd be okay. She's changed. Things have changed and people have changed.

As sure as she believes herself to be, she couldn't stop the twitching of her fingertips or the nervous butterflies swarming her stomach or the fact that her heart rate has now beaten the speed of light. "Maybe this is a mistake," she softly mumbles into the phone because speaking it out loud would be like admitting that she's gotten on the plane from Paris to NY for nothing.

"Don't do this then."

She could hear the exasperation behind his tone and she doesn't blame him. He spent the last four months convincing her that she's doing the right thing and that he's here for her whenever she needs him. She doesn't let him forget the promise by constantly calling him every day and telling him that she wanted to back out; and he, on every occasion, has calmed her down and assured her that she's making the right choice. "But you said I should."

"Of course you should. You _need_ this." He put careful emphasis on the 'need' part and she's attentive enough to notice. "You need closure."

"No, I don't." She decides that she's wrong. He's wrong; and that her lucky 7 is also wrong because she's not ready; because even before she sees her family, just by being in the same city and breathing the same air, she feels like that lost 16 year old girl who tried so hard to find herself.

"Jenny…"

She shakes her head relentlessly, not that he could see it. "I'm scared—I haven't seen them in 4 years—" She rambles, running her hand through her washed out, golden hair. It's a nervous habit she has developed after realizing that biting her nails didn't help and instead, it left a somewhat bitter aftertaste. "I don't know what to say, how to act or even how to approach the subject of why I didn't stay in contact for the past years." It's not that she didn't want to come back. Missing Dan's birthday, dad's birthday, Thanksgiving and Christmas racked her up with guilt. She feels ashamed for wanting to live the life she's built for herself away from UES and all of its drama but not enough to come back. It was just easier to wish them 'Happy Birthday', 'Merry Christmas' and saying 'I miss you' and 'I love you' over the phone than saying them in person.

"If we're going to get technical, it's been 4 years, 3 months, 2 days and 9 hours—"

If only her nerves aren't eating her insides, she'd laugh. "Not funny."

"Don't tell me you're afraid of the big bad wolves."

She takes wolves over them any day, Jenny thought as she bites her bottom lips.

"Right now you have to make a choice: you can either run away forever or you can face your fear."

She definitely does not like it when he's being logical with his advice either.

"I know you think that as long as you stay away from your past, you'll be fine," he mutters quietly. "But you're wrong. The baggage will get worse. It'll crush you and you'll suffocate."

She sighs. "How can you be so sure?"

"Because I know your look, Jenny. I can see the forced smiles, and the fake happiness that you display. I know them well because I live them every day."

The dullness of his tone, the regrets from his words and the echoes of remorse grip her chest tightly that she has no choice other than to accept defeat. "I…" she pauses, "I don't know—"

"What have you got to lose?"

"Nothing."

"Then _go_for it."

Then he hangs up, which is not at all surprising; for better or worse, it's one of his endearing traits to end things before he gets too emotionally invested. Gathering what little guts she has left, she tosses the phone into her purse and waves toward an incoming taxi. Once it pulls in, "Can you pop the trunk?" asks Jenny. After securing her luggage, she hops into the taxi. "Manhattan. Upper East Side."

The driver nods and pulls out of the airport in one swift motion. As she sits idly in the back, feeling her nerves gradually settling down, she thinks that maybe he's right. Maybe she's worrying for nothing. Four years is a long time and it'll be nice to see her dad again. Before long, the driver has already arrived in front of Lily's loft. Handing the driver her fare, she swings her bag over her shoulders and takes one last deep breath before heading for the elevator; hands dragging her luggage along.

It dawns on her while waiting inside that she hasn't contacted anyone let them know that she's coming back. "Shit…" The elevator dings then the door bustles open. She enters with apprehension, all ready for judgment day only to find the place completely emptied. Sighing with relief, she places the luggage against the wall and plops down on the sofa. Before she could even take a rest, the elevator's doors open again.

Turning her head, "Eric…" she mumbles; eyes widen with surprise from not seeing him in so long that she almost forgot what he looks like.

"I'll see—" he stops mid-sentence upon seeing Jenny's face. "I'll call you back." He quickly hangs up and tucks the phone into his pocket. "Jenny…" He pauses, not knowing what to say. Jenny Humphrey was the last person he's expected to see in the loft. "I—I didn't know you were back." He finds it hard to put his thoughts into words. Just exactly how do you greet a person you haven't seen nor heard from in years?

She gets up and walks toward him, feeling nervous all of the sudden. "Hi."

"Hello…"

"So… how are you?"

"Fine."

Did the temperature drop or did his voice takes on a distant tone?

"Didn't expect to see you here," he comments with one hand in his pocket while the other uselessly hangs by his side. "I forget… how long has it been?"

"Eric…"

"A letter or a phone call or maybe a post card out of your busy day would have been nice," he adds sharply, not bothering to hide the bitterness from his tone. "Or maybe a note that says you've left the Hudson and were heading for Paris would have been great as well."

He's mad and is fully within his right to be so. She'd be pissed too if she was him; but given the fact that they have been best friends in the past, Jenny was hoping he'd be the most lenient upon seeing her. "Look I'm—"

"Sorry? I know. Rufus has already told me that."

She sighs. "Do we have to do this?"

"Why don't you tell me?"

"I'm not the one starting a fight here."

"You didn't call, write, email or text in four years. Just how do you expect things to be?"

"Not like this."

"Oh, that's rich," he remarks with a scoff. "I'm just supposed to welcome you back with opened arms? Is that it?"

She frowns, not liking his sarcasm one bit. "Look, I came back…" she simply offers with a small smile, "and I miss you….Doesn't that count for something?"

"No."

"I really don't want to get in this with you right now Eric," she answers softly, wanting to drop the subject. "I just came for a simple visit. I thought that—"

"That we could continue where you left off?"

"Yes and if I thought for a second that you didn't want me here, I wouldn't—"

"You're right. I don't want you here; so why don't you stay away for a couple more years," he shoots back and immediately regrets his words when he saw the hurt on her face. He didn't mean to go that far with her. He was just angry and wanted her to know. "I didn't mean that," he adds quietly, "I'm just hurt that you never bothered to contact me."

She casts a downward glance. "I know."

"We're _friends_… Jenny."

His words cut like a knife to her heart. "I know."

"You can't just drop out of nowhere and act like the last four years never happened …"

"You don't know how many times I contemplated this decision," expresses Jenny, dejectedly. "With the way things were—"

"So _why_ are you here?"

"Like I said, I missed you. I missed NY. I missed my dad. I missed Dan."

He says nothing, which made her feel even worse than when he did say something. "How long are you staying?"

Her face immediately brightens. "For the summer… then I'll be back permanently once I'm done with school."

He nods. "I see."

"Look, I'm sorry for not writing, calling and whatever else," she adds, feeling braver and hopeful, "but I needed time to be alone."

"We're friends and that means anything that you did, whatever happened, I'm here for you."

"I know," she says, tip toeing up and down each leg in intervals. "But I can't, not when I know that I'd see all of the people I've wronged or being reminded constantly of how horrible I was."

"To be perfectly fair, the parties involved were not that innocent either."

"I know, but Paris was my one shot to get away from all this… from—"

"Us?"

"No—me."

"You?"

"I wasn't happy Eric. This place made me lost sight of who I was and who I wanted to be. Leaving gave me a chance to rediscover _me_."

"You could have at least called."

She boldly takes a step closer. "I know."

"Or email."

She laughs as she stands in front of him. "Are you done?"

"Yeah…"

"Good because I've wanted to give you a hug since you've stepped foot in this place," she giggles and throws her arms around him. At first he was surprised at her sudden gesture but he then relaxes and wraps his arms around her waist as well. Laughing, she breaks off the hug. "Let me take a look at you here," she says and leans back. "Mediocre looks…" which is an obvious lie from her. He looks more matured and more at eased. His chiseled chin, brooding hazel eyes and heart shaped lips must had sent ladies, or this case, gentlemen over the hills. "I bet Elliott is glad to have caught a fish like you."

"Well, I think we're both lucky to have caught each other," he shyly confesses with a boyish smile.

"So how's life?"

"I wouldn't say boring but," he answers, sitting down next to her on the couch, "but without you and all the drama, it just doesn't feel right."

Tilting her head, "Thanks… I guess?" replies Jenny, not knowing how she felt about his comment. "So you want to tell me where the rest of the family is?"

"As you know, Dan and Blair just recently started dating—"

"Thanks to the blast from GG." She almost died from the shock when she heard the news. Who would have thought that her brother, Dan Humphrey, and Blair Waldorf, the girl he once said and she quotes, "was everything I hated about the UES squeezed into a 95lbs package of girly evil," end up together? Surely not her or anybody that knew him. Guess she's not the only whose taste has changed.

Nodding, "And since Rufus and mom's anniversary is also coming up, they thought that they'd all celebrate it together," answers Eric. "Personally, I think Blair and Dan wanted to be alone but hey, that's just me."

She chuckles. "I guess I should thank my lousy timing for missing them—" Jenny stops mid-sentence when she heard the elevator's doors opened once again. She flashes Eric a look first, who returns with a shrug then together, they both gazes over their shoulders, coming face to face with two, very surprised guests.

"Jenny…?"

Immediately, her throat closes up and the smile fades from her lips.

* * *

**author's note**

I absolutely hate beginnings. They're mostly very awkward to write so hopefully this didn't bore people to death. Yes, I ship DB. Absolutely adore them to death so I had to pair them in this story. Haha. Anyway, I don't really watch a lot of episodes of GG so the mannerisms of characters might be lost on me. I mostly watch episodes with NJ interactions and DB and that's it; so forgive me if the characters aren't like the tv :)

- dh


	3. Coming to Terms

Chapter Two - Coming to Terms

"_I'm starting to learn_  
_This ain't all it's cracked up to be_..."

**Disclaimer**: I do not own GG & its characters. I do, however, own this story. Therefore the story is © by me. Distribution of any kind is prohibited without my written consent.

* * *

Serena van der Woodsen is a publicist. She loves it and she's good at it. She can lie with her eyes wide open and fake a smile that can give anyone a run for their money; and for the past four years, she has managed to build a solid reputation as the best in the business which may or may not have earned her a few snide comments here and there. She's ruthless when it's necessary and she makes no apologies for it. The truth can be _irrelevant _because it how the truth is understood that's important. Words can be changed. People can be manipulated; and if she has learned anything by being on top, it's that one must be prepared for the worse.

_Always._

The one thing that her job doesn't teach her is how to deal with Jenny Humphrey; and being who she is, Serena van der Woodsen hates being the one that's caught off guard and seeing the blond that almost destroyed her relationship does exactly just that. "Jenny…" she accidentally calls out her name a little too familiar and warm for her taste. "You're..." She couldn't even finish her sentence because the shock still renders her speechless, something that doesn't happen too often these days. "back."

Jenny Humphrey immediately gets up from her seat. Her cheeks tint red, indicating either embarrassment or shyness, to which Serena guesses the former. "Nate… Serena…I…"

She notes the tensed expression dawning on Jenny's face, and assumes that she didn't expect to see them both this quickly. She would have enjoyed it more if Jenny didn't look so small and tiny in front of them. Suddenly she feels like a bully that's picking on the scrawniest kid in the playground, though Jenny Humphrey is anything but scrawny. "It's been…"

"Awhile…" Jenny adds before flashing a brief glance over at her first then finally at Nate. "You guys seem well…"

Serena catches a flicker of nervousness in her eyes that's laced with shame and excitement before she looks away like a kid being scold even though Nate barely said a word. She isn't surprised since they've always been closed. Since she never kept in contact with anyone, Nate included, Jenny must feel a sense of guilt as she stands in front of him now; and Serena doesn't know why but she squeezes onto his hand a bit tighter than before. "Welcome back."

Jenny acknowledges with a slight nod before resting her eyes on Eric, who Serena notices is just as tensed. She sees her nudging him on the ribs and almost chuckles. The two best friends are now back to their former state and Serena's somewhat pleased. She never did like the brooding-I-lost-my-best-friend Eric. After a few quiet exchanges between the two, he takes the cue and suggests, "Why don't we all sit down and catch up?"

"Right… of course." She takes Nate by the arm and together, they sit across from the two. "So how's life?"

"It's…been good."

"You should have called," Serena chides softly with a small smile and tries her hardest to sound as sincere as possible. The whole meeting is like getting a root canal: painful and awkward. "We've missed you."

"Sorry," Jenny apologizes. "I lost track of time."

Serena catches the meaning behind her words and knows that she didn't really mean it, just like how Jenny knows that she didn't either; but they're all playing along like actors in a play because it's the right thing to do; because after four years, the scars should have healed and hate should have faded when in reality, time didn't really do shit. "But enough about me," Jenny says in a chipper voice, "I've not heard a tweet on GG about you guys for awhile now…"

Ah, the good old days when everything they did got reported, Serena thought. "Well, she pretty much leaves us alone now since we're no longer in her age group," she chuckles, "but we've been—"

"We've been good," Nate adds softly, "though it's a surprise to see you _Jenny_."

Serena looks over at him, awed by his biting remark then sees that she's not the only one. Jenny's mouth has slight parted like she's still digesting his hidden meaning. "What can I say...?" Jenny then tosses a few uncomfortable chuckles in an effort to ease the tense atmosphere. "_Shocking_ people is kind of my thing."

Regardless of how she feels, Serena must admit the girl still hasn't lost her sass. "So how long are you in town for?"

"I haven't yet decided."

"We'll be sure to watch out for a note when you _do_ leave." Nate has jumped in before she could mutter a reply. Grabbing him by the arm, "What are you—Sorry Jenny, he doesn't mean that," Serena apologizes on his behalf. She rarely gets to see him this emotional by anything and she supposes it irks her a bit. "Eric—" She then gives her brother a glance, "why don't you take Nate back into the kitchen and put the food we got for you away?"

Eric, who's remained quiet the whole time, stands up and pulls him along. When she saw that Nate wanted to protest, she frowns disapprovingly and is able to force his cooperation. "I'm sorry about that—"

"Don't," Jenny says, "I don't expected people to be happy with my return. Nate included."

"Well, I'm glad you're back."

"Why?"

"I think our talk has been long overdue."

* * *

"What are you doing?"

He avoids Eric's scrutinizing stare and stuffs his hands into his pocket. "What?"

With his arms across his chest, "_I know_," Eric finally announces when he realizes that Nate wouldn't come into direct eye contact with him or attempt to fess up first.

He keeps his poker face on straight and gives a casual slide of his shoulders. "About what?"

Eric shakes his head at Nate's lame attempt to remain aloof though to be frank, he is never really one to let his emotions or thoughts shows. "You know what—that Paris trip that you took, the one you didn't want anyone to know about."

* * *

This certainly is going better than she'd imagine, Serena dryly thought as she glances at Jenny, who has her hands intertwines on her lap. Now that Nate and Eric have left, they can be open, direct and straightforward. No bullshit. "Honestly," Jenny murmurs softly, "I really didn't think that you'd be this—_nice_."

Serena's brows rise. The things that come out of her mouth never cease to amuse. "Did you think I would bite your head off?"

"Well—no."

"We're not in high school anymore. Would biting remarks _really_ help?" It wasn't a jab at her or anything but she sees Jenny cringes a bit before she sinks back into her seat. "Beside like it or not, our parents are still married; and that means, we'll be in direct contact more than we'd like to."

She winces at the mention of her dad, whose frowning face has been a constant reminder of how rebellious as a teenager she was. "Right, and I think friendship is out of the question because we—"

"Don't trust each other."

"So,"

"Where do we go from here?"

* * *

Still hanging onto his act, Nate retorts, "The last time I check, it's not a crime to be in Paris."

"You didn't go to Paris, for the sake of going to Paris. You went because you wanted to look for something, or rather for someone; so tell me Nate, did you _find _whatever it was that you were looking for?"

His brows pucker together, confused. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Eric scoffs. "That's such a load of bull and you know it."

"Look, I don't know if you've noticed or not but I'm with your sister, _not _Jenny," he states, emphasizing the last part, as if it's for his own benefit rather than Eric's because honest to God, he doesn't even know himself why he went.

"And I hope to God, you remember that too for the duration of Jenny's stay."

* * *

"I think we both can agree that under the given circumstances, we should draw truce," Serena then releases a breath of weariness, "there's no reason why we can't be civil toward each other."

"I agree," concedes Jenny with a nod. "After all, we're both adults—"

Before Serena could reply, her phone vibrates. "Sorry, hold that thought," she then takes a glance at the name flashing on her screen. Muttering some inaudible curses, "I'm sorry but I have to go," Serena says, facing her. "Job's calling."

"Right, I remember reading that you're a—"

"Publicist."

"Then you should—"

Before Jenny could even get another word out, Serena's phone vibrates again, signally its urgency. Annoyance etches across her forehead as she sees the same name flashing. Ignoring the call, "I'm sorry that I have to go," she apologizes, actually meaning it this time, "but for what it's worth, I hope that somewhere down the road, you and I can mend whatever we have left."

"Whatever happens, _happens_."

Serena concedes with a small, sincere smile. She figures that for better or worse, they're still going to be a family. Rather than being bogged down by what happened in the past, maybe someday they could get back to what they had, whatever it was.

* * *

**author's note**

There goes chapter 2, not quite so exciting and probably not the best I could've done or maybe it is. I'm still feeling the effects of the season finale and are trying to work those events into the story but we'll see. Oh yeah, I also edited the other chapter so if you have time to re-read, please do. Thanks to ronan03, caleb's babe, Clarkispotamia, shadylady21, othchick11, and etgoddess for commenting ^_^ You guys made my day!

- dh


	4. Use Somebody

Chapter Three - Use Somebody

"_Countless lovers under cover of the street_  
_You know that I could use somebody..._"

**Disclaimer**: I do not own GG & its characters. I do, however, own this story. Therefore the story is © by me. Distribution of any kind is prohibited without my written consent.

* * *

People often said that in the moment of death, one can see every event of their past, from the time they opened their eyes and saw their mother's face down to the moment of their passing. Everything in vivid and excruciating details.

Well, God must have hated Chuck Bass because he waited for that moment as he laid there in his own puddle of blood; as his heart gasped for air and his lungs suffocated, no epiphany came. No sounds echoed as he drifted farther away from consciousness. No warmth radiated as he fell deeper into the abyss. No familiar faces popped into his head either. There was nothing but darkness. Once he came to, he remembered that the pieces of his life had fallen apart, so he did what any self-serving damned bastard does best, he cursed that the sky and got back to the carnal pleasures he left behind. After all, Chuck Bass _is _and _always will be_ Chuck Bass.

He breathes in her scent of lavender to be reminded of a mix between orchids and roses. He imagines brunette upon her golden locks, hazel upon her blues and crimson upon her baby pink lips. His breathing suddenly hardens, trying to fight a memory that he carries but no longer wants.

She toys with the collar of his shirt.

He teases with the kisses on her neck and fights the urge the pull away. Then the front door slams. Lifting his head, "Nathaniel?" he calls out quietly, noticing the approaching footsteps. It can't be because he hasn't lived here for the past four years and there's no reason why he should be here at all. Before he can ignore, his legs react otherwise. "Stay here and don't move, no matter what." Quickly removing himself from the bed, he puts on a bathrobe before ambling out of his room to find Nate leaning on the pool table, breathing hard as if he has just come back from a run. "Nathaniel…I didn't expect you to be here…"

He lifts his head after hearing his name called. "Neither did I, Chuck," says Nate, coming face to face with him, with sweat licking down his face. "But I guess if we live long enough, impossible things can happen."

Chuck stays quiet as he remembers that it's been four years since they've come into contact. There have been polite exchanges. Those things happen since they run in the same social circle but reconciliation, as Nate has put it, is never going to happen. Chuck knew the things he did and how unforgivable they were but he never thought that the price would be this high. "Let me grab us a drink."

"Don't," interrupts Nate as he sees Chuck pouring a glass for him. "Just because I'm here doesn't mean that we're okay."

"I didn't assume otherwise."

"Good."

He then twirlis the golden brown liquid in his glass before gulping it down, feeling the burning sensation running from his throat, all the way to the pit of his stomach. It hurts but somehow the numbness blocks out the pain. "Then pray tell, why _exactly_ are you here?"

"Jenny Humphrey's back in town," Nate states as a matter of fact.

Rolling his eyes, "Is that why you look so disheveled for a lack of better word?" asks Chuck.

"Don't change the subject."

He flashes a lopsided, wry smile. "Did I now? Because I could have sworn you stated a fact and I gave you a reason for why that fact existed."

"This has your stench all over it."

"Oh?"

"Tell me, you didn't have anything to do with her return."

"Is that what it takes for you to be here? _Humphrey_ related?"

Nate wrinkles his brows together, "What?"

He then slams his drink on the table, feeling sick to the pit of his stomach. It's could be the liquid but he knows better and he rather blames it on the drink. "When are you going to _fucking_ let it go?"

"We're not discussing _that._"

"It's been four years Nathaniel," Chuck says in a low drawl. "When are you going to realize that she made the choice? I didn't force her into bed. I didn't drug her. I sure as hell didn't promise her a happily ever after."

"Is that what you told Blair after you sold her for your fucking empire too? That it's her fault? That you didn't force her to go there?"

"Look who's changed the subject now."

Before Chuck notices, a left hook collides with his face and sends him stumbling back. Nate grabs at his collar and pulls him up to his feet. "You want to know why you're alone Chuck? "

"Because I'm what? Disgusting? Pathetic? A sorry excuse for a human being?" he chuckles and wipes the blood dripping from the corner of his mouth. "There's nothing you can say that I haven't said to myself."

Nate throws him back on the ground then runs his fingers through his hair, frustrated. "No Chuck. You've always been who you are, a vile human being. You treat others like they're objects of no value to you. We accepted that because we were your friends. I accepted that because I grew up with you. I knew you before you were messed up. We all knew who you were."

"Then what is your point, Nathaniel?"

"We just never thought you would do it to one of your own," Nate replies, surprisingly calm now. "You sold Blair for material possessions when she loved you and have always stood by you. You tossed Jenny aside like she was nothing. If you can do that to Blair then what chances do the rest of us have?"

"You have no fucking idea what you're talking about."

"Right, because your father never loved you and your mother died so you can't develop as a normal human being. Bullshit Chuck. People have shit happens to them all the time. Parents fail their children. Breaking news, it's not news. How long are you going to play the victim of your circumstances?

"You should practice what you preach, Nate."

His fists clench tightly.

"You're pissed about what happened to Blair? Bullshit. I seem to recall that we were still friends after that and in fact, it wasn't until the Jenny debacle that really broke the camel back. At least be honest about what really bothers you."

"You don't know what you're talking about," Nate says, throwing back his words from earlier.

"I don't or you don't? Because I don't know what pisses you off more, the fact that you can't your eyes off of her or the fact that she still gets under your skin after all this time."

"You're wrong," repeats Nate. "She's just a—"

"A friend?" he finishes, chuckling. "Right. Because on the same day that she returned, you immediately are ruffled." He then brushes past Nate and straight to his room. Before entering, "I believe you can let yourself out," says Chuck with resignation. "If you ever want to be honest with me, come and find me then. Have fun burying yourself in that grave you're digging yourself in. I'm sure it won't take long."

Before Chuck proceeds further, "The last thing Chuck Bass should talk about is moving on—"

His hand stops cold on the handle.

"After all, aren't you still drowning in misery, deluding yourself into believing that you've gotten over Blair when every day, all you think about is her?" Nate continues coldly, "So before you tell me to move on, or give any piece of advice, you should learn to take your own."

"I guess you're a better man than I am, _Nathaniel_." A click's at the end of his sentence as Chuck enters his room and back into the arms of his companion.

* * *

**author's note**

A short chapter this time. I think I might be hitting writer's road block. I've too many thoughts about how this story will go that I'm not sure which direction to take Anyway I won't bore you with my ramblings and just say my thanks to ronan03, caleb's babe, Marrwie, shadylady21, ISGG2, and s m Neal for reading and commenting ^.~ You guys inspired me to update and hopefully the next chapter will be up shortly =)

- dh


	5. Don't Let Me Fall

Chapter Four - Don't Let Me Fall

"_Well it was just a dream just a moment ago_  
_I was up so high, looking down at the sky_  
_Don't let me fall..._"

**Disclaimer**: Ido not own GG & its characters. I do, however, own this story. Therefore the story is © by me. Distribution of any kind is prohibited without my written consent

* * *

Nate Archibald rubs his tired, bloodshot eyes after hours and hours of staring at the ceiling. He chalks this down as another normal night of sleeplessness. He seems to have a lot of those these days. Whenever he closes his eyes, or manages to fall, he'd just juggle between the conscious and unconscious. Sighing, he slides off the bed and quietly ambles over to the window. He pulls the blinds down and glimpses at the rising sun. He releases another long breath, hesitating. Strangely a bittersweet longing washes over him. He rakes his fingers through his hair after letting go of the blinds. He then paces over to a dark corner of the room and begins dressing himself.

Once finishes, he idly sits on the bed, waiting for time to pass.

5 turn to 6.

6 turn to 7.

Before long, she quietly begins to stir from her slumber after a reoccurring nightmare that began several weeks ago. The sweats from previous nights roll down her face as if they're in a race to see which one will make it down to her pillow quicker. Using her arm, she wipes the moisture from her face then reaches for her table and turns on the dim light. She then blinks several times at the blurriness of the silhouette in the corner. "Nate…?" she whispers, barely audible. She pulls the covers over her stripped body and moves to the edge of the bed to be closer to him.

Hearing noises behind him, he breaks away from his thoughts, turns around and greets her with a small smile, which she in turn does the same with a quiet, yawn. He looks at her for a moment and seems to have something to say but he ends up kissing her forehead instead. He then lies beside her in the bed and lifts her gently into a warm embrace. A tingling sensation creeps up her back as the nervous butterflies flutter inside the pit of her stomach. "Did you have a good sleep?" he softly mumbles.

She wrinkles her nose. "I've been better. Why are you up so early?"

"Couldn't sleep much," mutters Nate.

"Again?" She grows worry at his words. "Have you eaten yet?"

"I'll just grab something on my way to work."

"I can whip something up for you if you like," she offers, sitting up. "You still have some time before work, right?"

"I have to start early today so," he declines and presses her back into his arms, "rest."

She yawns again. "I'm fine."

He smiles then places a delicate kiss upon her forehead before departing from the bed. Something isn't right, Serena thought as she watches his tensed back. Reaching out, "Is something the matter?" she asks, placing a hand on his shoulders.

He takes her hand in his. "No, nothing," answers Nate.

"You can tell me anything, you know that, right?" Serena says. "I'm here."

"I know." He kisses the palm of her hand gently then brings a hand up to her cheeks. He traces his calloused fingers across her smooth complexion. She tilts her head, following his hands' movement as if a force is stringing her along. Her cheeks burn crimson red like a young girl in love. His head lowers and his lips softly brush hers. "You trust me?"

She pulls away with a frown, hating how he always evades the subject with his kisses. Trust has and will always be an issue between them. Maybe it's because their relationship got off to a bad start and only went downhill from there or maybe it's something else, she's not sure but for better or worse, they worked through it. It was hard; she won't lie, especially after that break when she went off to Paris and he decided to adopt the Chuck Bass's ways. She has her past, her secrets and still does. He on the other hand, closes off and has a few of his own but they somehow manage to build trust on a pile of insecurities and doubts. "Do you_trust_ me?"

She trusts him, he knows that, but something in her eyes tells him that underneath that layer of confidence, lays uncertainty. It's small, but nonetheless it's still there. "I saw Chuck yesterday—" He figures he owes her a small version of the truth; because after 4 years together, he should be able to let her in.

She nods, understanding what he couldn't say. He was hurt and still is. Chuck was wrong and in Nate's eyes, nothing he did afterward can ever redeem the things he did. She does the same thing. In fact, all of them did, leaving Chuck by himself.

"And I don't know—he was being an ass like how he usually is but—" Nate rambles, "something he said really pissed me off and I guess—I just—I don't know."

"I understand," Serena says, "And I don't blame you for staying away from him, especially after the whole Blair and Jenny fiasco. Heck, I've always disliked him myself but that's because he's pig."

He senses a _but _coming on.

"You and Chuck have been friends for as long as I've known you," she explains, "and hasn't he always been, you know, _Chuck_?"

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that Chuck has always been an ass, the one that trudges between lines and always does whatever the hell he wants without worrying about the consequences.

"But?"

"As much as you despised his actions in the past, you've always forgiven and accepted him—"

"That's because as horrible as he was, I could still find some reason behind his actions. Sure, he's an ass but at least the things and the people he did wrongs too wasn't someone who's closed to him."

"He exchanged Blair for a hotel and you _forgave_ him."

"But that was—because—" Nate rambles then stops once he realized he didn't have a justified reason for why that was so. He stares back at Serena, who flashes a knowing smile. "I—"

"I'm waiting…" she sings quietly.

He then cringes in defeat.

"I know that I'm making excuses for him, and trust me when I say that I really don't want to," Serena continues as she kneels on the bed, cupping his chin with one hand and the other on his shoulder. "But his mother left him. His uncle declared war on him. Blair, the love of his life, left him, and for good reasons mind you. Not to mention, karma shot him; and finally to lose you, his best friend, I don't know, if I were Chuck, I'd not know how to wake up every day in the morning."

He releases an eased breath. "It's complicated…" he ends it there, leaving her hanging once again.

"I'm not saying that it'll be easy," she adds, "But Chuck has never done wrong toward you that he doesn't regret. You're his friend and sadly his only one."

"And if I can't forgive him?" asks Nate, skeptically.

"Then I'll still stand by your decision," Serena quickly answers. "As much as you try to deny it, Nate, you need Chuck and he needs you."

His gaze softens. "When did you get so wise?"

"When I fell in love with you." She then pulls him into a tight embrace. Her hands run up and down his back. "You know I love you, right?"

"I love you too," answers Nate, dipping his head to give her a quick kiss on the lips before letting go. Smiling, "So you trust me?" repeats Nate with Serena's own words.

"Always." She then watches as he grabs his things, gives another small wave then heads out the door. She couldn't pinpoint the exact reason why a somber moods fallen upon her but there's just something about him turning away that leaves her a little less confident than the last.

But they'll be fine.

They _have_ to be.

* * *

**author's note**

A short chapter _again_ and no Jenny either. I thought it'd be better to concentrate a bit on NS so that way, later events won't just appear out of nowhere. Lol. Honestly, I really dislike Serena. I find her boring, bland and well for the most part, just annoying. I really wanted to be mean and write her horribly (which I might succeed but not on purpose) but I thought, after 4 years, people should change so.. anyway, I'm rambling again.

emd-girl: thanks for commenting!

shadylady21: thanks for commenting. I figure that as much as a blowout I want N to have once he finds out about CJ, I figure nothing would hurt more than completely silence and distance. Lol. And yup yup, at one point or another, they'll all need to move on.

ronan03: my boss once told me that sometimes when people get too close, they have to part so that's why I decided they should part. Lol. They'll be friends again. Don't worry. Thanks for the encouragement ^^

erika x3: thanks for the compliment. Hopefully I'll not disappoint you later on.

etgoddess: I really, really hope that N will do that to C. I want him to give a really good beat down because C deserves it and N has so much potential as a character and most of the time, the script does so little that he barely has any presence other than when he's around J and having makeout sessions. Thanks for commenting! (Love your long comment btw ^^)

Trasselgirl: aww... thanks. Let's see how you feel later on.

- dh

p.s. I'm surprised that no one's wondering who Jenny was talking to in Chapter 1 (not talking about Eric, of course). I was trying to be subtle but I guess it worked too well =P


	6. Lesson Learned

Chapter Five - Lesson Learned

"_Mistake overturned_  
_So I call it a lesson learned_  
_My soul has returned_  
_So I call it a lesson learned..._"

**Disclaimer**: I do not own GG & its characters. I do, however, own this story. Therefore the story is © by me. Distribution of any kind is prohibited without my written consent.

* * *

Jenny wakes up with a banging headache and the realization that she could barely recall what happened last night. She hits her head several times with her hand to ease the pounding of her temple. Then she slides off the bed and into the washroom. Splashing cold water over her face, "Shit. What the hell did Eric give me?" mutters Jenny as she massages her dark, under eye circles. As she walks down the stairs, she thrusts her head left and right, finding no one in sight. The telephone suddenly rings, startling Jenny as she jumps up. "Hello?"

"Morning."

Hands on her hip, "Eric van der Woodsen, where the hell did you go?" asks Jenny. "And what the hell did you give me last night? I woke up with the mother of all headaches."

"It was a lunesta and we tried to wake up you earlier—"

She wasn't sure she heard him correctly. "We?"

"Elliot and I."

Jenny grins, imagining the wide smile on his lips as he mentions Elliot's name.

"Correction, I tried to wake you up but you punched me right in the face. What was I to do? Try to wake you up some more and end up with even more bruises as a result? No thank you; so we left for some breakfast downtown but don't worry. There's a plate of waffles on the kitchen counter and I'll make it up to you tonight. _Trust me_."

"Whatever…But still, you should have—Wait, hold on, someone's just got in," Jenny pauses and walks over to check out who the guest is. The phone almost slips from her grip from the surprise. She definitely didn't think she was going to run into _him_ this early in the morning.

"Miss _me_?"

Rolling her eyes, she returns her attention to Eric. "I have to go." Without waiting for his reply, she hangs up the phone with eyes still on the visitor. "I didn't expect you until later, _way later_."

"Well I thought, why deny you the _pleasure_ of seeing me now?" He flashes a playful, crooked smile; one of those rare gems that she hasn't seen in awhile.

"I see you're still alive and kicking," Jenny shakes with disbelief. He really is shameless. "Sucks for the women you've burned."

"No need to get jealous," he chuckles, "There's plenty of me to go around."

The hairs on her arm threaten to stand up as she recoils from the humorless joke. He really has a way with words. "Oh, gross."

"So are you going to stand here and _flirt_with me all day or do I get to sit down?"

She rolls her eyes and signals him to follow her into the kitchen. Opening her refrigerator, "Want anything to drink?" asks Jenny after he takes a seat near the counter.

"Wine."

She then hands him a glass of orange juice.

"I thought I asked for wine," he says, clearly not amused as he holds up the glass with distaste. "This is not wine."

He didn't sound like he was joking and rather than apologizing, she laughs. The thought of him whining like a little kid tickles her funny bone. "I only asked out of courtesy," says Jenny as she takes a sip of her juice. She then takes out two plates and splits the waffles Eric left behind evenly between them. "Drink that and eat this too."

"Chuck Bass does not do waffles—"

"No, Chuck Bass _does_ other things but for today, he'll eat the waffles and drink his OJ without complain."

He then engages her in an intense death stare only to realize he couldn't win; brooding teenager belonged to her if he remembers correctly.. "Fine." He then takes a small bite. "Happy?"

She smiles triumphantly while puffs her chest out proudly. Shooting Chuck Bass down twice in a day, that has got to be a record somehow. "Thrill."

Wiping his mouth with a napkin, "So how did yesterday go?" asks Chuck.

She brushes the bangs behind her ear and gives a casual roll of her shoulders, replying, "As well as it could be. I guess."

"Don't tell me something_unfortunate_ happened."

Narrowing her eyes, "Spill it," says Jenny as she leans in closer, "what do you know?"

"I wasn't there, _remember_?" he denies with a secretive grin that tells her he knows more than he lets on.

"Like that has ever stopped you before."

He raises a glass to her reply. "Touché," Chuck then grins like a Cheshire cat, "Let's just say a very _distraught_ Archibald ended up on my doorstep and leaves it at that, shall we?"

Her pulse takes a slight dip at the mention of Nate's name. "What?" blurts Jenny before she realizes she even said it.

Shrugging, "He thought I had something to do with your return," answers Chuck sourly."Take some convincing but needless to say, I'm successful."

"He really does know you best," Jenny chuckles. "I still don't know how you convinced me to come back."

Smugly, "I've been told I'm irresistible," answers Chuck with a wink as he recalled 3 years ago, when he went to Paris to beg for forgiveness. He didn't expect his apology to be so easily accepted but it was. She looked him in the eyes and told him bygones were bygones. They were stupid, drunk and made a mistake. No hard feelings, she told him with an easy smile, and she wanted the past to be in the past. He thought she was joking but when he observed her closely, he realized that she seemed lighter, happier and all around, calmer. The girl who spent her life looking in to find herself and the boy who spent his life looking out to lose himself somehow managed to form a real friendship; and the rest became history. "Are you regretting the decision to come back already?"

Jenny shakes her head as she chews on her food quietly. She then wipes her mouth before asking, "Did it go well?"

He smirks. "Don't I look well?"

"If you did, I'd not have asked."

"It was just _peachy_."

She frowns then runs her eyes over his features. His hair has become lighter and messier. The worry lines that weren't there before now have become apparent across his forehead and his eyes seem to lose the sparkles and the fire that made Chuck Bass great. There's an almost tragic air about him and she couldn't help but take pity on the man that he's now. "If you're not careful, Chuck, he might never come back to you."

"It's his loss."

"That's not funny."

"The truth doesn't have to be funny," Chuck says as he drops the fork back on his plate, "it only has to be true."

"There's no shame in _feeling_, Chuck."

He waves his glass dismissively. "Enough about me, let's talk about that _boy toy_ of yours," he then leans in forward, "is he everything you dream and _more_?"

Catching the meaning behind his words, "Eww… Chuck." She curls in disgust and gives him a good shove, which almost knock him off his chair. "Is that the only thing that's on your mind? And how did you find out about him anyway?"

"I have my sources and yes, what else is there in life?"

Chuckling and shaking her head, "You're still as creepy as ever," she comments and takes another bite. "And to answer your question, I don't know."

"Can't say I'm surprised, Jennifer."

She cringes when he called her name in a formal manner, especially since he knows how much she hates the way it sounds. She much rather prefers Jenny. "Really?"

"What?"

She probably will regret hearing his answer later on but she's curious; so against her better judgment, she asks anyway. Who knows, maybe this time, curiosity won't kill the cat. "Tell me, what's Chuck Bass's insight on why he's not surprised that this guy isn't going to work out?"

"Three words: Nathaniel Fitzwilliam Archibald."

"What?" exclaims Jenny, almost choking on the piece of waffle as she couldn't believe that he actually thinks she's still pining after Nate. "You're wrong."

"I'm _never_ wrong," Chuck presses further, "_never_."

"Until now."

"Show me a guy you've dated, one that has lasted more than 3 months."

Her lips thin.

The corners of his mouth curve up in satisfaction. "That's what I thought."

"That doesn't mean anything."

"It means _everything_."

"I just haven't met the right one," Jenny says, "_seriously_."

"You've met the right one. He's just taken."

Rolling "Fine, you win," she concedes with a sigh. It's better to end it before the whole debacle gets out of hands; because if there's one thing she knows about Chuck, it's that he's as stubborn as a pack of mules. "Happy now?"

He frowns. "Why would I be happy seeing you unhappy?"

Once in awhile, he says things like this and she can't help but pity him. "Look, I've not been successful in relationships but that doesn't mean I'm still in love with Nate. I had enough of that one sided affection and learned my lesson so I'm moving on with my life, Chuck. Being back here reaffirms that belief."

He smirks in a way that irks her. "Whatever makes you sleep better at night, Humphrey."

* * *

**author's note**

Sorry for the delay in the update. This chapter was excruciating to write, mainly because I don't know how to approach it. lol. Anyway, I think I'm burn for awhile since I went through the last few chapters and edited a few stuffs. I think I have a sickness. I can't stop changing stuffs and I"m never satisfied. This chapter included. Enough of my ramblings (I always go on and on way too many times )

ronan03: you'll find out about why she did so later on though I think it's pretty obvious. It's not like a big reason of why ^^

Trasselgirl: like I've said, there'll be a reason for why it's so and I do plan to include the rest of the cast. How it works out, that's another story. Haha. And thanks for pointing it out. There were some mistakes. I think I've fixed it but I sucks too so... =)

shadylady21: I think this chapter answer your question. Lol. I think that trust is very important in a relationship and it doesn't matter how long relationship is, if trust is lost, trust is lost. Rebuilding that will be tough and that will be the Achilles heel to NS. We'll see how it works out later.

erika x3: They are but it's going to be a few more chapters before they fully kaput. Haha. I'm so evil.

etgoddess: I didn't even realize Nate didn't say I love you until you pointed it out. Haha. Guess that just goes to show how little I pay attention to them and you have nothing to be sorry for. I love, love your long comment!

Clarkispotamia: I don't think Nate will ever murder Chuck. Secretly, he loves Chuck too much. Haha.

nicensweet28: wait a few chapters and let's see how you feel about the story. lol.

Thanks everyone for reading and for all the encouraging comments. As always, criticisms are appreciated as well so don't be shy :P

- dh


	7. Love Fool

Chapter Six - Love Fool

"_Love me, love me (say that you love me)_

_Fool me, fool me (go on and fool me)_

_Love me, love me (I know that you need me)_

_I can't care about anything but you..._"

**Disclaimer**: I do not own GG & its characters. I do, however, own this story. Therefore the story is © by me. Distribution of any kind is prohibited without my written consent.

* * *

Sometimes, when her guard is down and the sun reflects at just the right angle, he can still see the dejected, confused and vulnerable girl that he met not so long ago crying out beneath her warm, brown eyes; and if he's lucky enough, he could actually see that her whole heart will never be fully his. He understands and has no disillusions because she never did promise him a happily ever after; a sad fact that he has somewhat come to term with on days that he couldn't see deep into her brown eyes.

If he sounds anything bitter, he's not. When he took a chance and dove in head first to claim Blair Waldorf's heart, he knew how slim his chance was; and he should have really known better when she showed up unannounced on his doorstep, drenched from the rain and peered at him like a wounded puppy looking for its master that she was going to be troubled.

With quivering lips, trembling hands, she whispered those sweet, pleading words and looked in him for a savior that she knew didn't exist.

"I'm lost, Humphrey, and I can't seem to save _me_ from myself… so _save me_."

He knew the risks but all it took was that moment. She was everything that he'd imagined and more, a _hell of a lot_ more. She was exciting, dangerous and came with all kind of emotional baggage, the kind that made people either love her or hate her, and with none of the warning. She was like a drug, a sick addiction that he couldn't get over. She drew him in like a moth to a light, elevated him to the highest heaven then pushed him down to the depths of hell. She was his breath of fresh air, the ones that he didn't come across often, the ones that he was often warned about and often tried to avoid; she had this overwhelming power over him and he couldn't stop her.

Between the tantrums, the stolen kisses, the fire beneath the sheets, and the tears, she took whatever she wanted then threw him aside like yesterday's old news. Still he crawled back to her, time after time because he'd seen the damages behind her eyes; those that would take a lifetime to salvage and he wanted to be the one. All she searched for was a piece of _happiness_ and he thought he could be the one to give it to her. The problem is, as hard as he tries, she knows as well as he does that in order to achieve the happiness she so desperate craves, she'd have to let go of what she'd been most afraid to lose.

_Chuck Bass_

He wishes that name doesn't make his heart aches like a thousand needles piercing his skin but it does and he's jealous because he isn't good enough to win against a mere ghost of yesteryears. He thought that if he tells her how he feels, he could ease the raging storm in his heart but he was wrong. Though she said yes, her eyes told him another story. He has lost the battle he tries so hard to win. How did he shoot for the sky only to be burned alive?

"Hey…"

Her voice peaks through like a gentle breeze, faint and almost inaudible to his ears. He looks down, and smiles, unforced. "Did you sleep well?" he asks, running his finger through her brown curls. God, she's beautiful.

She licks her dry lips then releases a long yawn. "Yeah—did you?" she asks, scooting her body closer to his.

"Always." He then wraps his arms around her, pressing her close.

Unconvinced by his answer, she looks up. Her brows pucker together as she contemplates whether or not she should ask him again, just to be sure. She then stares at him for a bit more before capturing his face in her palms. "Are you okay?"

"Great," he assures, though for his own selfish reasons than hers. He decides that perhaps he maybe there's still a few more drops of blood left in him before he needs to completely give up this fight; because he isn't ready to give Blair up yet.

The worried expression never once leaves her face. "You sure?"

He hears the doubts behind her voice, that little tremble she carelessly slips at the end of that question. "Yeah," he answers, knowing that he never could lie to her but for their sake, this time he'll bite his tongue. He then lowers his lips to her cheeks and feels a chill running up his spine when he comes in contact with her baby smooth skin.

"Well—I should go check to see whether or not Lily wants to spend a girl's day together," she speaks quietly and hesitatingly.

Her eyes plead him to stop her from leaving because she really doesn't want to leave; because this trip isn't meant to have Rufus and Lily along; so he does. Catching her arm, he pulls her back into his embrace. "Stay…" mutters Dan as he breaths in the scent of her hair. "I love you, Blair Waldorf, even with all of your dysfunctions."

She chuckles and his heart does a loop-de-loop. Does she even know the effects she has on him, he silently asks, as he skims over her features, feeling a twinge of pain tugging the corner of his heart. Sometimes, he's so afraid to lose her that he thinks he might go insane. Has Chuck ever felt this way, he wonders. She must have heard his thought because she wraps her arms around him and puts everything into that embrace; all the fears, love, and regrets. He in turn returns the gesture, afraid that if he loosens just for a small moment, she'd slip and disappear. "I _love_you too, Humphrey." It's not a grand declaration of eternal love on her part; this he knows but still, it helps and it keeps him fighting just a little longer.

"Serena called."

He waits for a response, a withdrawing of her arm or maybe a body tensing up but there was nothing in her movement to tell him she even had a reaction at all. "She just wanted to know how we're doing." Sometimes when he acts like this and tests her like this, Dan Humphrey thinks he could be such an ass because he makes it sound like there's more to the story than it really was.

"Did something happen at home?" she finally asks; no malice, no jealousy, just nothing.

"No," answers Dan, "and Jenny's also called."

That's when he felt her chest rose as she sucks in a deep inhale. "Oh?"

Her voice strains; and he fights the urge to stop talking. "Yeah… she's back." Her then embrace loosens; and he still holds on, tightly, for the both of them.

Then everything clicks. "Wait—" She sits up, holding a hand to her forehead, "Is—" She couldn't continue with her train of thought as panic sweeps into her eyes. "I—Oh God."

His chest tighten but he's able to usher a smalls mile upon seeing her distraught face. "It's okay."

"No, it's not," She shouts back, shock by her own outbursts. She immediately covers her mouth then sighs. Eyes close for a second before she whispers again, "No, it's not."

He takes a hold of her hand. "Yes, it is."

She flings from his grasp. "No, Dan, it's not. You shouldn't have to act like this—like you're walking on eggshells. I can handle anything that involves—" She exhales a shuddering breath. "_Her_ and—"

"No, you can't," he argues, interrupting her mid-sentence. "You _can't_, Blair."

Her eyes narrow in anger and wrinkles her nose, displeased. "And just how do you know, _Humphrey_?"

He almost cringes when she called him by his last name, which is something she does only when she's really pissed. He figures, two can play at this game. "Look, Blair—"

"No, Humphrey—you listen," she cuts in and pokes at his chest each time she speaks. "I may have said yes to dating you. I may have let you hug me without getting preventive shots and yes, we may fuck like rabid dogs but don't forget that I'm Blair Waldorf. Nothing _scares_ me. Got it?"

He tries to look contrite but fails miserably when his mouth curves into a small satisfied grin. The way she speaks makes him curl with delight. "Got it."

"Good because if you do something like this again, I _will_ drop you like last season's horrendous trend."

"Really?" challenges Dan as he leans forward.

Rolling her eyes, "Really," retorts Blair with arms across her chest as she inches closer. "I'm the best damn thing that ever happened to you so don't _fuck up_."

He then tosses his head back, laughing out loud.

"Oh shut up Humphrey," she says then shoves him before sliding off the bed.

"Wait—"He then catches by the elbow and swings her back into his arm. His head then dips low to the nape of her neck. "I'm sorry but you have to know that I'm like this because you drive me crazy. You're possibly the only one who can say my name and makes my pulse races faster." His breath caresses her softly, making her heart pounds faster. "That's why no matter, I won't leave." He then twists his body around and pushes her down softly onto the bed, not without surprise yelp from her.

"Because I'm fucking irresistible, right?" she jokes in attempt to relieve the butterflies in her stomach. He's not himself today and she must be sick in the head to be aroused this newfound Dan. When he inches his face closer, it makes her squirms with uneasiness that strangely enough, unnerves her for why she felt so. She then attempts to sit up but is rejected by his gentle thrust back into the bed. His fingers intertwine with hers, continuing pining her down. She struggles to ease herself from his hold. "Hey Humphrey—" She halts when she saw the close proximity of his face to hers. Her heart almost leaps out of her mouth. She could even hear her own rapid breathing.

"Stop looking like I'm going to eat you alive," he chuckles then frees one of his hands to touch her face. His fingers trace the smooth contour of her cheeks then down to her lips. Then he crushes his lips on hers with no warnings whatsoever. He teases her bottom lips then her top before fully taking control of her mouth in mesmerizing strokes that turn her knees into jelly. As he holds her like she's the most precious thing in the world, she thinks about how much he tasted like mint toothpaste, the way he's stroking her body with those fingers of his and of the way his eyes burn with hunger for a taste of hers.

When he pulls away, she does her damnest not to look disappointed. "Sorry—but my phone vibrated," he flashes a playful grin and pulls out the phone in his pocket. Getting up, "Damn it. I'm supposed to have breakfast with dad today," he looks over at her, "_Rain check_?"

She tosses a pillow his way and hits him squarely in the face. "Like hell."

It amuses him how contradictory she could be, especially since the blush clearly shows on her cheeks. "Oo—I'm scared," he answers, waving both hands in the air. "I'll see you later Waldorf." He then walks off, not before feeling the satisfaction of rattling Blair Waldorf's bones when he heard her releasing an exasperated groan behind his back.

Sure, she doesn't love him wholeheartedly _yet_.

And yes, there's _still_Chuck Bass.

But if there's anything Dan Humphrey knows, it's Blair Waldorf; and he's willing to bet his money on the fact that by the time he's done, she'll have more than just a weak knee reaction to his touch.

* * *

**author's note**

I love Dan & Blair so I hope for this chapter, I have done them some justice. To me, they're just as beautiful as Nate & Jenny. They're so electric and just well-beautiful. Lol. Anyway, I think this is the longest chapter I've ever written (also the hardest) and it's also my favorite one too. I'll try to get the next one up soon though I can't promise. I'm burnt. Haha.

Clarkispotamia: I don't think there will be any threesome in this story but thanks for the recommendation though =P and yup, there will be a lot of bromance (if I can write them well. haha)

ronan03: thanks for the compliments. I hope to write more CJ scenes but I do think they have great potential in the show to become really good friends if they're written right. If only the producers think so too and don't eff it up next season. *sigh*

nicensweet28: I think the love triangle that I have planned are NSJ and DBC but who knows? Most of my plans never work out so... I wouldn't be surprised if it works out that way though I do have some ideas about what to do with Chuck. *evil laugh*

shadylady21: Yup yup, good old Chuck. He'll be even more help later on for NJ. Just wait and see. hahaha.

etgoddess: I'm glad you approve the CJ conversation. I think they have so much potential (as I've pointed out so many times). They don't really bs around each other and never really try to hide shit if that even makes sense. Haha. They just have a twisted friendship and I love that and of course the writers fucked that shit up with the season finale. *Shake head* I really do hope they'll become friends in s4 or something.

LP-togetherforever: welcome! thanks for commenting!

Eternal125: awww... thanks for the compliment! Hopefully I won't end up disappointing you. keke.

As always, thanks everyone for reading, especially those that have been with me since the beginning of the story. You guys are loved 33.

Comments/criticisms are always appreciated as well so don't be shy ^^

- dh


	8. To Start Anew

Chapter Seven - To Start Anew

_"I'm breathing, I feel my heart beat_

_But it's been a while since I've been alive..."_

**Disclaimer**: I do not own GG & its characters. I do, however, own this story. Therefore the story is © by me. Distribution of any kind is prohibited without my written consent.

* * *

Every once in awhile, Nate Archibald would get this awful emptiness in the pit of his stomach like he needs something to save him, something to cure him from the pain and something to set him free. His fingers would twitch while his heart would palpitate. His mouth would then turn dry, cueing his temple to throb.

He supposes that's what happens when he's a used-to-be-drug addict; a secret that thank God not a lot of people knows about him, except for Dan Humphrey, who found him half-dead lying in some horrid hotel room. Between falling in and out of consciousness, he managed to convince Humphrey not to bring him to a hospital and instead, just bring a doctor. Though if he thinks about it now, beside the fact that it's ironic how he saved a Humphrey only to be saved by another Humphrey, he really should have gone to the hospital instead; and he's sure if that news ever got out, people probably would brush it off as another woeful tale of a rich kid who went bonkers because he's rich or something along that line; but Nate Archibald isn't crazy or is he tormented by his richness and God should forbid anything else should cause his downfall, other than rich kids' syndrome.

People viewed him as a one dimensional and he doesn't blame them since he's done nothing to show them otherwise. His feelings are, more often than not, written on his face. He's never known for being deep or philosophical but he's not too heart-broken about that; and he didn't spiral out of control the summer Serena left because she left. He spiral out of control because he fucking deserved it; because after growing up and behaving like a puppet, then having his heart ripped out of his chest multiple times and feeling as if he's never enough for anyone, he fucking wanted to feel what's it like to feel nothing at all. Surprisingly, not feeling was harder than he thought.

A sudden vibration from his phone pulls Nate away from his thoughts. Rubbing his eyes tiredly, he scans the name and smiles. Speaking of Dan Humphrey earlier and here he is. "Hey—uh—Nate," his nervousness travels through the phone. "How's it going?"

Not sure of what he meant, Nate briefly glosses over the calendar on his wall and that's when the light goes off in his head. Today marks the 3rd year anniversary of him becoming clean; and as tradition, Dan Humphrey has decided to call upon himself to check up every year on this date. "Just peachy, Dan."

"No relapse, right? Nothing I should know about, right?" Dan nervously chuckles and Nate appreciate his efforts for trying so hard. If only he put this much energy into his own problem, he might just able to solve his whole affair with Blair; but knowing Dan, he'll probably try every other possible solutions until giving the right one a chance.

"Well, let's see what I have taken so far—" he then rubs his chin thoughtfully, humoring Dan. "A bit of heroin, a couple snorts of cocaine and yes, the ever popular, weed. Before I forget, I also drunk way too much last night and now am suffering from the mother of all hangovers. Anything else you want to know, Dan?"

Dan's infectious laugh echo through the phone and Nate finds himself smiling along. "Very funny, Nate."

"Well, I always did have a knack for comedy—" Nate says, "But enough about me, shouldn't you be enjoying your vacation with Blair?"

"Oh… right…" Dan's voice falter through the phone and Nate could have sworn he heard a silence crack at the end of his sentence. "Well,it's complicated. She's complicated."

"She's Blair Waldorf." The name kind of speaks for itself or so Nate thought as he rolls his eyes at Dan's inane confession. "Haven't you always known that?"

"Yes, but that's not why it's so damn complicated," Dan voices his frustration. "Maybe complicated is not the right word. More like, I have no idea how to seduce Blair Waldorf."

"You're kidding me." The thought of Dan having a hard time seducing Blair is funny to say the least and Nate couldn't help but releases a string of laughter to escape his lips. "Please tell me you're not serious."

"See, I knew this would happen. I knew you'd laugh. I really shouldn't have come to you because obviously, you're not gonna take it serious so you know what, forget I said anything. Really, forget I'd asked for help. I'll figure it out somehow while basking in my humiliation."

"Look—I'm sorry," Nate apologizes, trying to conceal his amusement and wonders how this talk isn't more awkward than it is. "Why don't you just start from the beginning?"

"Nate, it's me, Dan, the ever predictable, Humphrey. Really, you need me to explain further?" he asks, rhetorically. "I mean, the last spontaneous thing I've done was falling for Blair Waldorf. I plan out my daily schedule for crying out loud. I freak out if my desk isn't clean or a CD is misplaced; I'm OCD and she's Blair Waldorf. Fucking sexy and unpredictable as hell. I have no idea how to act. I don't even know how she came to fall for me. Sure, we share a love for the literary world, well, among _other things_, but—"

"Dan, you're rambling."

"That's what happens when I talk about Blair. She's just damn. I don't even have the slightest clue about how to go and knock her socks off. You know, I managed to make her nervous a bit a couple days ago and yeah, surprised her with a few more tricks. Hell, I made myself even more nervous afterward because I don't know how to follow my act. I'm screw, aren't I? You can say it, I'm screwed. That's it. This relationship is doomed."

"Do all the Humphreys ramble on and on this much or is it just you?" Nate interrupts as he remembers another blond Humphrey doing the same thing before her guerrilla fashion show; and it brings a smile to his lips. Brushing back the thought, "Honestly, you have got to calm down," says Nate. "Blair likes you just fine."

"Calm? You're asking me to calm down?" Dan repeats; each time louder than the last. "How can I be calm?"

"Look, Dan, you know Blair. She's a dreamer, always has and always will be; she might act like she no longer carries those girlish thoughts but she does still; and the best way to deal with a dreamer is to make one of their dreams come true."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Rubbing his temple, "That's for you to figure out, okay?" says Nate when a knock comes on his door. Glancing up, he sees a coworker knocking on the glass door while holding onto some documents in his hand. "Look, I have to go, Dan."

"Hey wait—"

"Good luck and let me know how it goes, okay?" Nate quickly says then hangs up without waiting for Dan to say his goodbye. He gives a nod for his coworker to enter. "What's up, Cam?"

Poking his head in the door, "Hey—sorry to cut your lunch short but James just called for a meeting in the conference room in regarding tomorrow's campaign commercial," he explains, "so come as soon as you finish gathering all the paperwork, okay?"

"Sure."

* * *

**author's note**

Wow, I planned to have a longer chapter but I guess this will do for now. I will probably rewrite this at some point when I have some more inspiration flowing through me. Lol. I wanted to give a bit more insight into Nate because honestly, I like his character on GG, with the exception that he kind of a whore and that anyone who doesn't live up to his expectation he tends to toss them aside. Anyway, I just outline this story and for now, it look to be a 30 chapter fic if I want to do what I have in mind. So if anyone wants to jump ship, now is the time. Lol.

veronica21:Haha. I wonder about that too. I still haven't written that out yet but I'm guessing somewhere between anger and hurt? who knows?

nicensweet28:I'm so happy to hear that as I love them so much; and I think DB will happen somewhere in S4. Just guessing since I doubt GG will last more than 4 seasons, 5's the most I'm willing to bet.

shadylady21: I know what you mean. I love love-hate relationship and I think DB is that. They might exchange a few verbal sparse here and there but when it comes down to it, I think they have somewhat a mutual respect for one another, more Dan than Blair but I'll take what I can get. Haha.

ronan03: you are way too sweet, especially about my A/N; and I'm glad that even though you're not a DB fan, you still read it ^^

Clarkispotamia: I completely agree :D they're cute, sexy, well more Blair than Dan but oh well. Haha. And we'll see about NJ :D I have plans *evil laugh*

Crystal Moon Magic: first off, welcome :D secondly, thanks for the questions. Those things will be reveal as the story goes and Jenny does not have a clothing line. I think I wrote it back in the first chapter that she's still in school. However, her fashion storyline will be mentioned somewhere in the future chapters. And Nate's job is kind of mentioned here so yeah... and the parents will be home but I'm not going to write much about Dan's and Jenny's mother.

etgoddess: yay! i'm glad you liked the chapter because I wasn't sure how to write it in the first place; and I believe that CB did have something wonderful, mostly in s1; and I believe that even if Blair does move on from Chuck, she'll always love him in some way so yeah... something's bound to happen. anyway, I'm rambling too much.

erikax3: they'll be even better later on. maybe. haha.

Thanks so much to all the readers above ^_^ As always, comments/criticisms are appreciated so don't be shy. The more I know about how/why I suck, the more I can improve ^^

- dh


	9. Million Dollar Girl

Chapter Eight - Million Dollar Girl

_"I'm far from average_

_Rich and lavish_

_That's why I'm the baddest bitch..."_

**Disclaimer**: I do not own GG & its characters. I do, however, own this story. Therefore the story is © by me. Distribution of any kind is prohibited without my written consent.

* * *

Serena van der Woodsen hates him, he knows of this when he sees her nostril gradually flaring. As she holds her breath, counts to five then closes her eyes, she notices that he couldn't help but let a grin comes onto his lips just to piss her off a little more. With a 6'3 athletic frame, hazel eyes that are more intense than a thousand suns, it isn't hard to see why he's the next big thing in the entertainment world; but what he has in talent, he lacks in logic, or in this case, self control; and she's trying hard not to wring his neck because her reputation's now the line; since he's someone she has deemed to be worth less than air, she finds it ironic. The guy whose career catapults her into a six figure paycheck is also the guy, who's notoriously known for possibly being the next Robert Downey Jr., who might just brings her down. "Michael."

"Serena."

"Explain this." She tosses a magazine into his lap with a murderous stare then rests her arms on her hips.

He holds the magazine up and shakes a look that tells her he hasn't gotten the slightest clue as to why she's looking at him like a sort of criminal. "What?"

Her brown wrinkles; confused by his response. "What do you mean 'what'? Ed called me this morning while on vacation, practically shouting at me about how I could have let 'our precious client' caught in another infamous act, to which I answered by babbling like idiot because I didn't know what the fuck he was talking about. That was until I came to the office this morning with that little magazine as a gift to jump starts my already wonderful day."

He doesn't seem rattled by her confession. Instead, the stupid grin still hangs on to the corner of his lips like red wine to white carpet. "Seems innocent enough to me," he says as he looks down at a cover shot of him and another starlet on the rise.

"No, Michael, donating money to charity, that's innocent. Helping an elder to cross the street, that's innocent," she retorts after rolling her eyes. "But you, caught dirty dancing with an actress five years your junior, who's by the way is not of legal age for anything, including drinking and guess what, there's a shot of you doing shots with her, now that's a different story. I told you to lay low. This isn't laying low."

Still unaffected, "I don't see what the big deal is," he answers with a shrug. "I went to a club, looking to have a great time. She happens to be there and we danced together. No big deal."

"No, huge deal. You're being considered for a movie starring opposite Brad Pitt and in case you haven't noticed, just a few weeks ago, you were caught with a married woman and a few days later, with another underage actress—"

"Like anybody cares that I'm sexually active." He then flashes his mega-watt smile that gathers him millions at the box office, which she responses by shuddering with disgust, not that he expected anything different coming from her; and watching her all bend out of shape just so happens to be one of his favorite hobbies. "Come on, do you expect me to be chaste?"

She doesn't know which is more ridiculous: the fact that he's banking the same salary as Hollywood's leading men after being in the business for only 2 short years or the fact that he honestly thinks he hasn't done anything wrong at all. "I'm sure no one's thinking that about you but let's try and prove that you are a walking STD like people assume, shall we?"

He falls back dramatically and holds a hand to his heart. "You wound me with your words."

She looks away with disdain. How he manages to earn a nomination for acting is beyond her. "Oh bull," she shoots back. "Please… please…tell me that there's actually a brain underneath that full set of hair."

He laughs then straightens himself. "Look, that married woman threw herself at me," he states and places the magazine on the desk. "And that girl—Well—" His eyes sparkles as he reminiscences about something that's not oh-so-innocent. "That was _mutual_."

She scoffs. "You disgust me."

"Enough to turn you on?" teases Michael and she reddens from her face to her neck. "Don't tell me you've fallen for me already?"

She lets out short but restrained laughs. "Only if you're the last guy on Earth and hopefully by then, I'm already dead."

"Look, I'll be more careful next time." He then stands up. "So if there's nothing else—"

"There's something else—" She stops him by flashing an agenda in front of him, right before his hand captures the door handle. He sighs and returns to his seat unwillingly. "I scheduled you for Regis & Kelly tomorrow morning. Afterward, we have approximately 4 hours for the promotion of your newest rom-com. You'll walk the red carpet, do a couple of signing for the fans, and etc. Avoid all questions that are purposely directed to the indiscretion if you can. Once we're done, you have an interview with People Magazine where you do what you love most—talk about you—"

At that, he chuckles.

She pauses and looks up. "What?"

He rests against his arm and peers up at her with an engrossment. "No, please continue as I'm sure somewhere in there you scheduled time for my breathing."

She makes a not-funny face then continues, "Then last but not least, you have Late Night with David Letterman."

"Is that all?" remarks Michael with sarcasm. "Because I'm sure I have 5 free minutes in there somewhere to do another interview or something."

She then rolls her eyes. "Leave the jokes to the professional and don't be late."

He let of a casual slide of the shoulders and jumps up from his seat. "I can't promise you anything."

"I'm serious, Michael. Don't fuck this up," she warns then watches as he stumbles out of her office before slumping back into her seat. While staring at the ceiling, her phone vibrates. She waits until the third ring before fishing it out of her purse. Glancing briefly at the name flashing, she then greets with a quiet whisper, "Chuck."

"Do you have some time today?"

"No."

"It will only take a second, _sister dearest."_

The hair on her skin stands. "Whatever it is that you've to say, you can either say it on the phone or never, Chuck. Your choice."

"While I don't protest the contempt you have for me, I'm sure that you can find it in your heart to spare me a moment of your time as I'd rather discuss in person than over the phone."

Grumbling under breath, "I'll see you in 10 minutes," she says, "and whatever it is, make it short."

* * *

**author's note**

Surprised? Me too. Two chapters in 2 days. I'm on a roll. Haha. Anyway, as I've said, each character's job will be mentioned here and there but I won't dwell too much on their professional life because I want to concentrate on their personal life instead. There's more drama there, unless it's business mixed with pleasure. Lol.

Clarkispotamia: yes, he's clueless, among other things. Though if I was him, I'd be too since I'm dating my complete opposite. We'll see how they'll turn out later on ^^

shadylady21: given the NB history, and the ND friendship, I think Nate's the one that he'd come to if he ever needed anything. Plus, I adore ND so... yeah, I'm biased.

ronan03: I'm glad you find my ideas interesting. We'll see how that plays into the story (or might not at all) later on. And I'm glad that you're along for the ride. Hopefully it'll be an enjoyable one ^^

Thanks everyone for reading! Enjoy and CC is always appreciated ^^

- dh

p.s. in case you wonder (or perhaps you haven't), each of the chapter's title is from a song. So if you have time, listen to them while reading, for fun of course =) and I think I'll post a compilation of all the songs at the end or something, for fun too of course.


	10. On the Inside

Chapter Nine - On the Inside

_"You can pretend it will be alright  
No matter how you sell it_

_When you tell it it's a lie_

_Cause it's still just you on the inside..."_

**Disclaimer**: I do not own GG & its characters. I do, however, own this story. Therefore the story is © by me. Distribution of any kind is prohibited without my written consent.

* * *

"This has better be important, Chuck," Serena warns under her breath as she enters Chuck's loft at the Empire State, only to see a woman walking out with barely-there clothing on her way out. Annoyed, she stands with her arms rest on her hips as she gives him a displeased look. "Should I expect that your days now consist of drinking, fucking and running the Empire?" She asks but doesn't really expect an answer from him because she likes to say that she knows him well enough to know that this is how he deals with his pain. She only wishes she had known better before showing up on here on a whim.

His brow eyes looks back with desolation as he only shrugs and makes his way to the living room. "Come. Join me."

She shakes her head, refusing to follow. "I came because you said it is important; because you said it's something that you needed to talk with in person. Obviously, I was wrong." With that, she clicks her heels and heads for the door.

"I _need_ your help, Serena," he calls back in pleading desperation that she doesn't recognize. "Please. Stay."

She sighs, cursing under her breath. She will regret this, she knows but against her better judgment, she concedes to his request and trudges over to the couch. Sitting down, "So what is it that you need, Chuck?" asks Serena, though she somewhat has a clue as to what he'll say.

"You look good," he comments with a small smile.

It's so unlike him to beat around the bushes, she thought, before answering with a polite smile. "Thanks, though I don't think I can say the same thing about you." Glossing over his face, she could barely see the old Chuck Bass behind the mess. "You look like hell, Chuck."

"Charming."

"Maybe you should consider a change in lifestyle. You might live longer that way."

He smiles wryly. "I doubt death cares whether or not I fuck a few models, drink a couple of shots or smoke a couple of things before taking me out."

"Point taken."

He then exhales sharply. "Anyway, I'm sure you're well aware of the fall out between me and Archibald," Chuck begins in a quiet, accepting tone. "I want to make that fall out to be a fall in, if you know what I mean."

"Even a five year old knows what you mean."

"Then you get my drift."

"Just what is that you think I can do to make that happen?"

His eyes shimmer in delight as if she has already said yes to his request when she merely asked how. He then smugly grins and reaches into his pocket. Pulling out what look to be a white envelope, "I'll be hosting a banquet for that nonprofit organization your brother's volunteering at—" he explains.

"Wait—" Serena quickly intercepts, tossing a skeptical glance. "You heard about The Trevor's Project?"

He nods, hurling it into her lap. "They approached me this morning and wanted to know whether or not I was interested in letting them host a fundraiser here, at the Empire. I'm guessing that they somehow found out about my relation with little Eric from the family registry and whatnot. Regardless, I plan to fully take advantage of this situation."

And there's the old Chuck that she knows, the one who turns any opportunity that comes his way in to benefitting the one and only, Chuck Bass. Glancing at the invitation then over at him, "I don't know Chuck," Serena murmurs. "I don't think he'd want to attend knowing that you're hosting it."

"Naïve much, Serena?" simpers Chuck, "Just say that it's a publicity event you have to attend and his attendance is greatly needed."

"You know how I feel about secrets, Chuck."

His eyes seem to laugh at her answer as he leans back and rest against the soft cushion of his couch. Legs cross, "What's changed?" retorts Chuck.

She glares. "We've changed. Maybe you should do the same."

He tosses a lopsided smirk and looks on with distrust. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, mon cherie, but if you think that keeping secrets is the only problem between you and Archibald then you're going to be in for a rude awakening." He then pauses long enough to see her stiffens and a crack on her flawless face. "What? Did the words I say touch a nerve or are you just happy to be here?"

She thinks twice before answering him. "You and I both know the answer to those questions."

"Yet I'm afraid one of us doesn't want to admit it."

Her eyes narrow, warning him that he's now walking on thin ice. "Is this all, Chuck?" asks Serena as she gets up. "Because if it is, I have better things to do other than sitting here and going round and round in circles with you."

It's as if he expects her to react this way from his reaction, or lack thereof. "What's your rush, Serena? Afraid to face look the truth in the face?"

"This is not a game, Chuck. I came because you said you needed help; and if you only brought me here to insult my relationship with Nate then I don't need to be here again, or ever for that matter."

"Don't get your panties all in a knot," he answers. "I'm merely acting out as a concerned step-brother. You are my step-sister—"

"You mean like how Jenny was and you didn't think twice about taking her virginity away? Or how Blair was the love of your life and you treated her life shit? I'm well aware of how you treat those you're _supposed _to care about Chuck."

His face turns grim. "I've apologized to them numerous times."

"Like that makes a difference to what kind of person you are," says Serena, rolling her eyes. "You're toxic to those who know you, Chuck. Always have and always will be. You can try to be anything else but we both know a leopard never changes its spots, no matter what."

He licks his lips dryly, tasting the bitterness dripping on the tip of his tongue. "Then it's a good thing that I never claimed to be a changed man."

She throws her purse over her shoulder. "We're done here, Chuck."

"I want your assurance that you'll be there with Archibald."

"And if I say no?"

If he was shaken by her reply, he hides it well because the smirk still tugs the corner of his lips as he answers knowingly, "You won't."

"Really?"

"Don't you want to know once and for all if your relationship is really what is it Serena?"

"I trust Nate."

"Right, because you guys had such an innocent beginning."

"Get a life Chuck."

"Why don't we make things more interesting?" asks Chuck, leaning forward. His eyes practically glows red with danger. "Let's play a game."

She compresses her lips into displeased lines. "I just said I don't like games, Chuck."

He chuckles. "Ah—but I guarantee that this is the one game you _won't_be disappointed in and all you have to do is bring Archibald."

* * *

**author's note.**

Happy 5th of July! I meant to get this up earlier but didn't have time so... anyway, it's another short chapter. Seems to be my kind of thing these days =P Right now, I'm working on planning and revamping this a bit. I'm not really satisfied with the chapter and my ideas are kind of jumping all over the place. I kind of want them to connect and be more fluid so... the next update will probably not be up anytime soon. I'll try my best though... we'll see...

Clarkispotamia: Sorry for the confusion. It's Serena talking to her number 1 client, Michael. I thought I should write a bit about their professional life though don't worry because it won't be heavily concentrated on ^^ He'll play a somewhat important character later on in her life. Maybe.

shadylady21: please refer to the comment above :D lol. And you might not find out what they talk about per say but you'll get the gist of it since it'll be mentioned.

ronan03: the copyright sign is actually made by word. When I put (c) in, it automatically turns into that. I just copy and pasted it. Lol. Pretty smart of me, right? ;D

veronica21: thanks ^^ enjoy the chapter!

SmallTownGirl4: first off, welcome! and second, you read all 9 chapters? kudos to you ^^ hopefully this chapter didn't disappoint!

- dh

p.s. this chapter also goes out to those who have been with me since the first chapter. You guys know who your awesome selves are so thank you for sticking with this story


	11. Bull's Eye

Chapter Ten – Bull's Eyes

_You're blowing all your attention on me_

_I'm surprised the way you affect me_

_Like an arrow penetrating my heart_

_Take your best shot_

_I bet you'll miss_

**Disclaimer**: I do not own GG & its characters. I do, however, own this story. Therefore the story is © by me. Distribution of any kind is prohibited without my written consent.

* * *

She's late… _again._

Handing the taxi driver her fare, she swings the door open and make a run for the restaurant, almost dropping her bag along the way. Securing the straps back on her shoulder, she bustles quietly through the door and into the busied restaurant. Scanning the room, she smiles as her eyes land upon a booth near the back. "Sorry," she apologetically says, taking a seat.

"While you weren't here, we pooled to see how late you'd be," Eric says then looks at his watch, "And guess what? Elliott's won."

She makes a 'ha-ha-ha' face as he innocently bashes his lashes in return. "Don't act like you're so hurt, Jen," teases Eric with a laugh.

She rolls her eyes and wonders when he developed such a sassy mouth. "Shut up."

"Good luck because once he opens his mouth, it'd be a miracle to shut him up," Elliott chuckles. "Don't you just miss the days when he didn't talk too much?"

Jenny always knew she liked Elliott for a reason. "Yeah, whatever happened to that sweet guy who was shy, kind, and soft-spoken?"

Eric laughs. "He met you."

If looks could kill, he'd be dead right now. "Very funny."

"Stop glaring—it makes you look uglier than you already are," he then pushes her head away. "And you are lucky that we're not offended by your tardiness."

In response, she rolls her eyes again. It seems like a habit now that Eric's back into her life or she's back into his. Only a week has passed but somehow it seems like she's never left. They've been going out to lunch and dinner almost every day, with Elliott too, of course; and now, Jenny finally understands why Eric always has that dumb smile on his face when he spoke of Eliott. "And for your information, I ran into Eleanor on the way here," retorts Jenny. "We were chatting and time just got away from me."

Eric sits up, interested. "What about?"

"She asked me how I'm doing and well—" She pauses then bursts into a small smile. "She wanted to know if I'm interested in working for her again."

"Really?"

"Yeah and she said that once I'm finished with school, come to find her because she believes she has something that will interest me greatly." She then releases a couple of satisfied chuckles. "I said okay and yeah, that's basically it."

"I guess we'll forgive you for being late then."

"I still don't know why are you guys so adamant that I should be h—What?" She then eyes Eric then Elliott suspiciously when she saw them share secretive looks. If she's learned anything these past few days is to know when either one of them is up to something. "Is something going on?"

"Well—" Eric begins then turns to him. "Tell her El. After all, it's your idea."

He stammers, being caught off guard. "Wa-wait a minute. No it's not."

"Fine, it's mine but she won't kill you."

"But you're her best friend."

"But you're better at this girly stuff," he counters, "plus she's not going to be that piss, seeing as how she's still getting use to you."

Annoyed at the cat and mouse game, "Guys, in case you haven't noticed, '_she_' is right here," Jenny interrupts, pointing to herself, "Eric, why don't you just say whatever idea is it that you both came up with?"

"Fine—" he then glares at Elliott who slightly shrugs, thankful that it isn't him who was picked. "Promise you won't be mad."

"I won't."

"And no crossing."

"I won't."

"Well—"

She definitely doesn't like where this is heading, not at all. "Uh huh…"

"We thought it'd be kind of fun if—"

No. No. No.

"You have someone… you know, a boyfriend?"

Sighing, Jenny rubs her temple. She should have seen this bullet a mile away. "Please tell me that you didn't set me up and that you're just asking me to take a trip with you."

"Come on Jen, "Eric says, trying to plead some sense into her, "You haven't gone out on the town since you've been back. When we try to take you out somewhere, you always rejected the guys that approached you."

"Is there a law that says I have to have a man to be happy?"

Rolling his eyes, "I never said that a man would make you happy," Eric corrects firmly. "I said that it might be nice to have someone. I mean, how are you ever going to—" he pauses when he saw her disapproving stare and her incessant tapping. "What?"

"Don't get me wrong. I appreciate you trying to set me up but," she pauses, trying to render her words so they don't sound offensive when spoken. It's not that she doesn't appreciate his concern for her wellbeing but the fact that he went behind her back and set her up with someone she doesn't know or is interested in does not sit well with her and she thought she made it clear with him that she's not looking for anyone right now. "You make it sound as if I'm never going to find that special someone like you did."

"How will you if you never give anyone a chance?"

"When I'm ready to meet and mingle, I will."

Eric looks unconvinced as he continues, "When was the last time you were on a date? And I'm not talking about having a boyfriend. I'm talking about just going out on a date, having fun, and experience life?"

"Three weeks ago with a guy in Paris," Jenny refutes, almost proud and purposely leaving out the fact that they never did go on a second date afterward.

"Right—and how long did that last? Because the last time I've heard you talked about him was—oh I don't know—never?"

Jenny's frown deepens.

"Look, it's just a little dinner. No pressure or anything. Plus, I'm not saying that this guy is going to sweep you off your feet," Eric explains. "I'm just asking you to give it a chance. You never know, right?"

Acknowledging defeat with a soft exhale, "Fine, just this one time," she concedes. "But you have to stay out of my love life from now on, okay?"

Eric raises both hands in surrender. "I promise."

She then points at Elliott. "This includes you as well."

He gasps dramatically then points at himself, "Me? Me?" Elliot asks, bewildered that he's part of the guilty, "what did I do?"

"Don't you give me the what-did-I-do crap? You are as involved as he is."

"Yah—I—I" he stammers. His face begins to redden, making Jenny chuckles in delight. He never did like being put on the spotlight. She found this out the hard way when she played charade at the loft with him, Eric, and a couple of their friends. He clamped up like an oyster, all sweaty and shaky and could barely hold his card in peace.

"Alright—alright—no need to get your panties in a bunch," she jokes to ease his discomfort. "Who's the guy you're setting me up with?"

"He's a friend of mine," Elliott explains excitedly, "He's friendly, outgoing, sarcastic and funny. Kind of like you, except for the funny part."

"Sounds like you should date him instead of me," Jenny jokes, looking at him then looks over at Eric, whose now has a frown on his face, "right, Eric?"

"Yeah—he sounds great so why don't you date him?"

Elliott's breaks into a wide grin. "Oh my—are you jealous?" He then laughs when Eric's face turns shades darker. "You shouldn't be because there's no one for me but you."

"Oh, get a room," Jenny comments, making a sick face at the lovey-dovey couple.

"Anyway, he's you, in a male version."

Jenny cringes. "When you say it like that, it sounds weird."

Elliott blinks, not understanding her. "Why?"

"You just said, he's me so in a way, I'm dating myself?"

"Except he's a bit smarter, "Elliott adds, which earns a glare from Jenny. "What?"

"Smarter than me, Elliott?" She raises her left brow. "No one's _smarter_ than me."

"I'm just saying. He's not completely like you."

"And how do you know that he's smarter than me?"

"Because we know you," answers Eric and Elliott in unison. They both look at each other then burst out laughing.

"Okay—what's with this?" Jenny prompts, pointing at Eric then Elliott. "Something's going on and I'm not talking about you guys trying to set me up."

"What do you mean?"

God, this speaking at the same time and being emotionally connect is getting annoying. "Guys—"

Facing her, they both carry a Cheshire cat-like grin on their face as their hands intertwined. "We're thinking of moving in together."

Her eyes widen at the news. "Holy shit. When did this happen?"

"Well—" Elliott sheepishly grins, displaying the dimples on his cheeks. "I—"

"Two weeks ago, he came knocking in the middle of the night, with a bouquet of flowers in his hand and straight out asked me to," Eric answers, glancing at him with enamored eyes. "At first I was shock so I told him I had to think it over first."

Elliott returns with a smile. "So I went home, disappointed but then I got a call from him within a few minutes and—"

"We've been shopping around for an apartment and the rest is history."

"And I see that you guys already have that whole finishing-each-other-sentence-thing down," Jenny chuckles, looking on with a twinge of envy but mostly joy. Nothing would make her happier than seeing them together, especially since she always thought they'd. It was only a matter of time. "Damn. I'm jealous."

They both blush at the same time and look down at the floor.

Maybe this little blind date won't be that bad. Plus it wouldn't hurt to put her dating skills into use once again before she loses them. "Alright—" Jenny was stopped short when Elliott stands up and waves to someone from behind. Guessing that it must be her blind date, she takes a quick peek over her shoulders and finds herself speechless.

"No fucking way," whispers Jenny, because the last person she's expected to run into is Ian Anderson from Hudson High. He was the guy down the block that mothers warned their daughters to stay away from, due to his reputation of being a daredevil. He did all kind of crazy shit, one involving him skating off a roof and miraculously survived with his life intact by the end. Every girl she knew wanted him but none could get him; and for some reason, he decided to shower her with the attention while she in return, never gave him that time of the day because she knows his type way too well. They chase until they get bore.

"Jenny Humphrey." His voice is strong, clear and deep like how she remembers it and her name was spoken with a soft, hushed tone, as it was too fragile to slip from his lips in any other way that it made her heart skipped a beat. The corner of his mouth curves up with unexpected pleasure when he saw her blushing. "It's been… _awhile_.""

Awkwardly, she gets up from her seat to greet him. Barely reaching his shoulders, she forces her head upward to look at him in the eyes and she immediately regrets her decision to do so. With his towering frame of exactly 6'2, his familiar brooding blue eyes, those thick and dark babies' lashes, and high bridge nose, he almost made her heart skips a beat again, _almost_.

Elliott gives a pleasantly surprised look as he looks at her then back at Ian, "You two know each other?"

Straining a smile, she nods. "Unfortunately."

He gives a sly grin, alluding to the fact that this might not be such a coincidence at all; and she of all people should know better when it comes to him. "It's always _nice_ to see you again," Ian continues with a wink. "And if I might add, you look _ravishing._"

To this, she rolls her eyes and wonders how, out of all the guys in NYC, she's managed to find another Chuck.

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**author's note**

So gossip girl ended and it was crap. I guess this story is more after season 3 and set in AU. I refuse to make Dan gossip girl because it makes no logical sense. Thanks everyone for reading and I'm sorry it took so long to update. This story will be finished. I guarantee that. As always, comments or criticisms are always welcome =)

-dh


	12. Don't Wanna Know Why

**Chapter Eleven – Don't Want To Know Why**

_Don't wanna know why you like me I don't care_

_Don't wanna know how you're feeling I don't care_

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_**Disclaimer**: I do not own GG & its characters. I do, however, own this story. Therefore the story is © by me. Distribution of any kind is prohibited without my written consent._

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Jenny doesn't like the way he stares. His blue eyes sparkle way too much under the light for her taste. She also hates the way he talks, all flirty and friendly like they know each other when they don't. She's especially annoyed when Eric and Elliott decided to leave her alone with him, which has him grinning from ear to ear, like he's taking enjoyment in her pain. "So," says Jenny, lips thinning, "I take it that you've planned this."

Ian rests his head on his hand. "You wound me with such accusations, Jen-"

"Don't call me Jen."

"I was going to say Jennifer," he then laughs, "And no, I did not plan this. I am merely a participant in this serendipitous event."

She rests both of her elbow on the table and leans forward. "See, I don't believe you, not when you say it like that."

He shrugs. "Believe what you may, Jennifer but Elliott and I met during while I was volunteering for the Trevor's project. We bonded and he wanted to introduce me to friend of his. You know the rest."

"And what is Ian Anderson doing, volunteering his precious time for such a worthy cause? If I remember correctly, you were interested in three things only, she then holds up three fingers, "women, women and yes, women."

The left corner of his mouth curve and he cocks his head sideway in agreement. Then he licks his lips and his eyes cast downward. "If you remember, I wasn't exactly the modeled student in school. I was seeing a girl during the last year. You left to study abroad so I'm sure you weren't caught up in the rumors but my girlfriend suicided."

She almost chokes on her words. "Oh, I-"

"Sorry? Don't worry about it. It happens."

"I was gonna say that I didn't know," she corrects, with a small smile. "I can't apologize to something that isn't my fault."

"I see that France hasn't changed you yet."

"Well, I try not to let it," she answers, wrinkling her nose. "Though I can't say the same for you. I remember you saying that you hate the city. Something about the artificiality of it all."

"So you did pay attention during our talks? And here I thought that you were annoyed."

She rolls her eyes, knowing full well how he operates. "If you're thinking that this will work, it won't."

He chuckles. A low hum in the back of his throat. "I'm not asking for your hands in marriage, Jennifer," Ian says; his blue eyes pierce hers, "I'm merely suggesting that we should enjoy ourselves for the next couple of weeks. And if that should lead to something else, why not? No pressure."

She purses her lips together, contemplative over his offer. A fling doesn't sound half bad and it's not like he's a horrible person. He can't be worse than the guys she knew. "Well-" Then she hears her name from a pair of lips that she hasn't seen for the past week.

"Jenny?"

She turns around and there stands Nate, looking as shock as she is. "Nate? What are you-?"

His eyes skim over to Ian then back at her. "Just picking up some to go food for Serena and me," says Nate, looking at Ian." I'm sorry for interrupting your date. i'll see you later." Then he gives her a slight nod before turning away. When she looks back at Ian, he has a curious expression on his face.

"Who's that?"

"A friend." The tremor in her voice betrays her. "My brother's friend."

"Right," says Ian with a laugh. "So that's the guy."

"We're friends. Nothing more,"

"Regardless, I think we could have fun together. If you're ever bored and want to have some fun, let me know. Take me out for a ride and who knows? You might like what you see." Then he winks and she couldn't hold back her laughter.

Surprisingly or maybe not, the rest of the night didn't suck. She finds out that they had some things in common, like their rebellious streak that gave their parents' grief. They're both from divorced household and are somewhat artistic. She with her fashion and he with his drawings. He wasn't awful for the most part and she's somewhat warmed up to him. When the night comes to an end, they walk out together for a taxi. That's when she sees Nate again. He stands a few meter away, leaning against the wall, and smoking, not like the good old days. They stare and neither says much. Just the warm air slipping in between their lips. Ian stands by her; hands in his pocket while his feet wriggle around. He's uncomfortable, she realizes. "You should go ahead," she suggests, tearing her eyes away from Nate. "I'll catch a taxi later."

"You sure?" He asks; his blue eyes sparkle underneath the golden light, making her finally realizing why she was drawn to him in the first place. Licking her suddenly parched lips, she really didn't see this coming, she thought quietly, then gives a silent nod. He looks unsure, but takes his leave anyway because it's really not his place to stay; and she appreciates the slight, encouraging hand touch he gave her before exiting the scene. Sighing, she approaches Nate. It isn't until she's next to him that she sees the troubled expression on his face. He looks like a kid who lost his favorite toy or something. Annoyed, she pulls the cigarette from his mouth, which snaps him out of his reverie.

"Jenny."

Damn. All her hard work just goes down the drain because of that single word. "You shouldn't smoke, Nate," she advises, clearing her throat after throwing the cigarette on the ground and stomping it out. "It's bad for you."

"Exactly why I love it." He then takes another cigarette from his pocket and begins lighting it up.

"If you want to kill yourself, I won't stop you," she firmly says and takes the cigarette away from him once more, "but the last thing I want to die from is second hand smoke."

He throws his hands up in surrender. "Fair enough."

"So… how are you?"

"Still breathing." He then leans against the wall with his hand neatly stuffs in his pocket. "It's nice to see you again…" He simply states, trying to hide the outrage from his tone; but she saw through him like Vanessa's see-through dress for the Snowflake Ball.

"Likewise."

"It's an honor that you actually took time out of your busy life in Paris to come back and visit us all. I'm surprised we even mean that much to you." He remains a calm composure while the sarcasm never leaves his voice. "Because before you left, I actually thought that we were friends but wait a minute," he then slaps his forehead and laughs, "don't people usually bid their friends goodbye before leaving? So, stupid me for assuming otherwise."

He looks hurt and it wrecks her with guilt. "We're friends, Nate. That has never changed."

"You sure didn't act like it."

"I know that," she says, almost stumbling on her words. "Look, can we do this another time?"

"Sure, why not?" he growls under his breath then casts his sight elsewhere to recollect himself. "Why don't we wait until a couple of more years when you return unexpectedly again," adds Nate, a bit colder than he'd like and the message isn't lost on her either.

She sighs, restless, as she runs her fingers through her hair. "What do you want to hear, Nate? That I threw away my virginity for a meaningless fuck with Chuck? I'm sorry if I didn't live up to your expectation of how it should be."

"Is that what you were worrying about? That you'd disappoint me somehow?"

"Didn't I?" she retorts, raising her voice, ignoring pedestrians walking by when she saw probing eyes from behind. "You have no idea what I went though. How could I come to you, knowing how you made such a huge deal about how my first time has to be special, how the guy should be there in the morning, and how he should be the one I love?"

"Because it should be with the one you love, Jenny!" shouts Nate, letting his frustration get the better of him. "At least someone other than Chuck."

She knew he wouldn't understand. "See, there you go again, being all judgmental. Not every girl's first time has to be meaningful. What I want to do and who I want to do it with shouldn't be anyone's concern but mine. Sometimes people just want to do it without strings attached and just because all of your first time was regretful doesn't mean you get to dictate how mine should be."

"But of all people, Chuck?"

"Oh, okay, you want to talk about that night?! Fine, we'll talk about that night!" she shouts, barely able to keep her anger at bay. "You know why I was there that night? I was there because I wanted to see you. I came looking for you. I needed you because in all of my life, the one that I'd always wanted was you. I never slept with Damien because I wanted to be with someone who makes me feel the way you do."

And there it is: the awful truth that she's been holding back and that he knows but tries to deny.

His lips part but no words escape. He then looks away briefly, exhaling the longest breath she has ever heard. "I—I" he whispers then drops his head toward the floor.

She swears her heart has stopped beating again, for the millionth times that she's stood in front of Nate. "So when things turned out the way they did, I couldn't face you. You put people on these pedestals, and when they don't live up to your expectation, you toss them aside. I was afraid you'd do the same to me," she continues, quieter than before. "Every time I pick up the phone and think about dialing your number, I'd be so afraid of falling apart if I ever hear your voice that I hang up the phone altogether. That's why I didn't keep in contact with you, Nate; and that's why I never said goodbye."

With eyes that glue onto hers, he reaches out to takes her hand in his. "I'm—"

"Don't…" She stops him from further contact and withdraws a couple steps back." I'm not here to coax you for an apology nor am I going to justify my actions to you. I don't owe you or anyone anything. How I lost my virginity is my business. The choice I made by leaving is also my own. I did what I thought was for the best for me and I will not apologize for that." Surprisingly, she isn't in tears like she thought she would. "If we can't move past this, then…I guess there's really nothing left to say." Before she knew it, she has already headed out to the street to catch a taxi.

"No—wait." He then pulls her back and holds her still. "I'm sorry. No, actually I'm not. I'm pissed, at me for being not being there, and at you for disappearing the way you did without even as much as a goodbye; because I was worried about you and I missed you like crazy. I miss our talks and your long monologues. I really wanted to tell you all of that but as soon as I saw you, the hostility I held for so long exploded." He pauses to take a breath. "I even had it all planned out, what I was going to say and how I was going to act but something snapped when you came into view. I don't know if you've noticed but you always had a way to bring out the worse and best in me; and this time, you brought out the worst so I'm sorry if it seems like I'm resentful because I just—" He stops when he notices her weird looks. "What?"

"You're rambling, Nate."

He chuckles and rubs his face, stunned by this new development. God, he must have hung out too much with Dan to act like this. "I guess you Humphreys rub off on me."

She wrinkles her nose in disagreement. "Right. Of course."

He then ruffles her hair and pulls her into an unsuspecting embrace. She was startled at first then begins to settle snuggly into his arms. When they pull apart, "I'm glad you're back, Jenny," expresses Nate glowingly. "I'm really happy."

"Me too."

He watches as her cheeks turn beet red, a reaction that he never gets bore of seeing while amusement tugs on the corner of his lips. "So we're okay?"

She pauses then says, "We will be."

He then extends a hand toward the hood of her jacket and sweeps something off her shoulders. "You had pollens or something there," he gently explains then curtails his arm back to his side. "Sorry."

Her heart sinks and, she wishes the lingering of his touch would stay a little longer. "Thanks." She doesn't know what came over her but the tears suddenly wanted to pour out. The realization she still hasn't fully let go of Nate Archibald has finally dawned on her. She still wants him to feel the same way she feels toward him. She still wants to believe that maybe one day, he'll realize all the things she'd done for him and chase after her like a mad man; the way he does for Serena van der Woodsen. But most of all, she still _wants_ him and all the heartbreaks that come with it.

"Are you alright?" asks Nate, noticing how silent she's been. "Should we walk home, together?"

"Huh?" She blurts, pulling herself away from her thoughts. "Oh yeah, sure."

"So..."

Another thing pops into her mind. "Did you wait for me this whole time?"

"Yeah," he says, "I came back after dropping off food for Serena. She's working late tonight." He then laughs at her speechless expression. "What?"

"Don't do it again," she simply says; the smile on his lips wilts but he understand; so he nods.

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**author's note: **sorry for the long delay of update. Life's been busy and I have a writer's block. It will be finished. Thanks for everyone who reads. As always, criticisms and comments are welcome =)


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